a new year

so many ideas running around in my head. changes i want to make. things i want to implement. i am organizing my life. got this great new book from my sister. sometimes these books have the opposite effect on me. i want to rebel. to not feel like i have to dream big. but by the end of reading it and jotting down a few ideas of my own - i want to dream big. but i want them to be my dreams. my ideas. my life doesn't have to look a certain way. i don't have to be anything or prove anything to anyone. i want to live my life free of the fear of what others think of me. i know this seems like something i should have gotten over in high school, but unfortunately the claws of that monster have held strong - at least in some areas of my life. so i am going to work on unclamping those claws. i have yet to write down the resolutions i plan to make. it will most likely be a continuance of what i have written in years past and hopefully have an added twist of bold to it. i like the idea of being bold.