the first week . . .

of my new job was like any first week. totally overwhelming. :) but it's a good overwhelming. i like it. best part is monday morning i woke up with the flu. oh, but i denied it. i told myself it was just nerves and halfway through the day had to give in and go home as i shook with the chills and tried not to throw up.

yeah, that totally sucked.

but at least it only lasted 24 hours. the rest of the week went well. :) thank goodness for the weekend. loving just relaxing. :)

have a good one.

where i have been

well. starting from the beginning, or when i stopped posting . . .

the job i have had for the last three years has been a great job. i have learned a lot about the mortgage industry and was able to go to school while i worked full-time. this job allowed me to do other things during the day, if i was slow - hence the blogging more often before. and the getting more homework done.

a few months ago i was offered another job that, after much debate and taking many issues into consideration, i took. i am definitely a thinker/debater when it comes to major life decisions. and for me, this was. i loved my new job. i was essentially doing the same thing, just more of it. i was busy all day and felt like i was accomplishing a lot. i had to change my schedule a bit and actually do my homework at home. this is why the blogging suffered. now i have gotten to a point where i am feeling like i am in more of a groove with my new life. just in time for the universe to throw another curve ball at me.

a few weeks ago, through connections i had made at school, i was offered another job. {i knew school was good for something.} although, i don't feel like this is just a job. this is more of a career decision. see, i am growing up now. it's not in the mortgage industry. and depending on how i feel once i get more into it, i may tell you more. but for now know that, again, after much debate, i gave my other new job my notice. i loved working there, but fate stepped in and offered something that i had to take a chance on.

i am really excited. scared at first, because i don't have much experience at all in this new field, but so excited because i know i will learn so much. it's not a normal "small town, st. george" job. i feel like it will take me places or at least equip me with skills that i will need for the future.

and one of the best parts is i put it out there that i wanted this job about a year ago. i didn't have the particulars defined, but the universe, the secret, the law of attraction, or whatever unseen source you prefer, knew. i believe that. and i'm so grateful that for it.

so i start my new adventure tomorrow. it may be crazy for awhile, but it will be good.

and i have to say that it is good to be back. blogging is my form of journaling and also connecting to so many of you that i would not otherwise know what is going on in your life. perfect for my busy life. so thanks. hope to be back soon.

i am

still here.

just not staying cyber-connected as often.

life has been amazing this past month or so.

more has happened than i have expected and it's all going so smoothly.

let's just say that i am a believer in writing down what you desire.

it's fun to watch it unfold.

balance is the word i would use to describe how i feel about my life right now.

i feel so happy. so balanced.

there a little things here and there that i want to tell you about.

projects and trips and such.

and i will.

but for now, i am going to enjoy sitting next to my man, stop typing and start tickling his arm again.

and most importantly, i am here. ready to join blogland again.

4 years

This is a re-post from my sister cami's tumblr page and because they don't let you comment on tumblr pages, i wanted to tell my sister that she said it perfectly. i miss my dad. it would be so fun to have more conversations with him, more trips with him, more days with him. thanks cami for a great tribute.

it’s been 4 years since my dad has passed, so this post is dedicated to him….

my father is someone that….

makes sure you do what your mother says
holds back your hair when you are sick
lets you eat ice cream for breakfast
walks you down the aisle
gives you nicknames to make you feel extra special
isn’t afraid to acknowledge the elephant in the room
has the voice of a lion
but the heart of an angel
makes up songs about your friends names
gets kicked out of your basketball game because he’s yelling to loud
makes the best mix cd’s
is always up for a good discussions
pops your toes
gets all the cracks out of your back
is the best golfer
is the biggest jokster in the world
gives you money if you rub his feet
farts at the dinner table
is the best bargainer (he always lowered the prices)
cooks the best krepes in the world
scares your date by simply cleaning off his gun
is good at everything he does
rubs his stubbly face on your cheeks
teaches you how to drive stick
makes his presence known
is always up for camping
isn’t afraid to go up and talk to someone
lipsinks
lets you comb his chest hair
plays the guitar
writes songs about your mom
tells the best jokes
doesn’t like wearing ties
falls asleep while watching golf
tickles you until you’re about to pee your pants
scares your friends
obnoxiously squirts you with water
sits and plays with the kids for hours
is not afraid to throw you realllly high in the air
works extra hard
lets you cuddle with him
sings duets with you
makes an impression on everyone he meets
builds the best snowman’s
teases you about everything
master’s the “shoulder boppin” dance move
makes everything he eats look sooo good
gives you advice
makes you dream bigger then the stars
is filled with passion
loves you no matter what
tells you everythings gonna be okay
believes in you
and is always with you.

i love you, dad.

miss you dearly.

valentines gift shop

kendall and i will have a beckend designs booth at the valentine's gift shop in st. george tomorrow! come stop by and see us! and our cute coasters!

• 

Valentine’s Gift Shop

Need something for that special someone…

or maybe just for yourself…

Come choose from various vendors and

get something for everyone on your

Valentine’s Day list this year!!!

Saturday, January 30^th

^10am-4pm

^{26 W. Tabernacle, St. George}

^{(Directly across the street from the Tabernacle and Town Square)}

^{***Remember to come early for the best selection!!!***}

excuse me . . .

. . . can you see that i am working, going to school and interning at the moment?!!!

this is so how i feel right now. i am an ambitious girl. i'm pretty sure everyone who knows me, knows that.

i personally put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to be better and better and do it NOW!! even now, as i write this, i am feeling it. 26 years old and what do you have to show for it. why don't you own your own business and why aren't you making 6 figures by now? it's funny, because now that i am getting these thoughts out of my head, i can see how silly they are. when did i make the decision to do all that and when did i get the crazy idea that it would all be done at once?

these crazy thoughts bring me anxiety of the worst kind. the kind that makes me dream dreams that i should never dream and the kind that literally feels like fear gripping me telling me that i cannot face the day. it's horrible.

so my opening line is exactly what i want to say to those thoughts. "CAN YOU SEE THAT I AM BUSY RIGHT NOW!" i hate to put things off. when i get a good idea, i want it to be done now. not later.

which is why i have so much on my plate.

the point of this rant is that this podcast that i found via kate via kera, below just spoke to me. the ENTIRE thing spoke to me. but mostly the story that starts at about minute 13. {in case you want to skip through it, but i recommend the entire thing.} elizabeth gilbert has a way of saying things, and her voice is so calming.



i feel like there are so many ideas that come to me from my "little genius" that elizabeth mentions, that i am just not ready for. and i begin to feel guilty that i am not in that place yet that is ready to develop that idea that would be so amazing if i could give it all of my focus. but i am giving other things my focus right now. i am where i am and i have a hard time accepting that sometimes.

i love the idea of continuing to show up. to be there. to be present and available for things to happen through you. just show up. my mom used to say this too. sometimes, just showing up is enough.

please let me remember this when fear grips me and tells me not to get out of bed. please remember, becky, that showing up can be enough.

this podcast came at the perfect time for me. i hope it shifts your paradigm as much as it did mine.

ole!

beautiful sunday hike.

love this hike. slots is one of the best. and the fact the leah stayed up all night then drove up from vegas to go on this hike was awesome, especially since she was crazy the whole time. :)

an adventure

went on an adventure to find the river on sunday with landon, kailyn, grandma, sara, and the two dogs - sophie and kai. :) it was so fun. i made mom try rollerblading. pretty funny!

love these little kids!

011110

pretty cool date for a birthday this year. :)

celebrated mine and michael's birthday with the fam last night. {his day is tomorrow.}

cutest smile ever.

thanks for the amazing yogurt cake! my favorite!

the recipe - mac and cheese

this is the recipe that we sort of used. . . thanks to diners, drive-ins and dives. we added some different cheeses though. harmons has an awesome cheese section. :)

good luck :)

christmas and the amazing mac & cheese

i sort of forgot to post about christmas this year. . . and i sort of forgot to take pictures of much. so here a the few moments that were captured by my camera.

cute little landon and kailyn on christmas morning playing with their toys. {slept at brad and kendall's so we could watch the little kids experience santa. so fun!}

brad with dominic. so cute.

token cheesy christmas tree pic.

christmas day dinner. hello! {this was brad's plate.}

i promised shane i would blog about this because he was so excited.

mac and cheese!

haha! he hated eating traditional holiday dishes and wanted something good. so this is the yummiest, cheesiest and most expensive mac and cheese i have ever had. good job babe.

it's huge!

but oh so yummy. :)

hope you had a good one!

so this is the new year

first post of the new year. happy new year.

a strange sense of self-love and happiness was with me this morning. even with my resolutions of attaining my ideal weight and eating better. i found this sense of peace about this coming year which left me excited, as if i already know everything is unfolding perfectly. in case some of you are grabbing a bag to puke in right now. i will stop. but i still feel amazing.

i slept in and didn't actually get out of bed until about 2pm. i woke up late and opened a book, that engulfed me for 3-4 hours.

eat. pray. love. by elizabeth gilbert. to be made into a movie with the fabulous julia roberts. so excited.

oh how i love this book. it is an escape for me to a life that i would love to live. at least for a year. i want to travel as she traveled. but my mind and more importantly my heart, knows that it's not quite time yet. but soon. :)

now i am off to visit and play with leah and cody in vegas. lots of shopping and talking is waiting for me. :)

i hope you are having as good of a new year as i am.

loves.